edit: okay last time i posted them in halloween costumes a lot of people noted me saying they wouldn’t celebrate halloween just can’t win
i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
unless you experience my penis
I just choked on my food.
that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on
Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?
DEATH IS ON ITS WAY, HUMAN.
Can I cuddle Death and give Death chin scritches and kisses?
SCRITCHES CANNOT POSTPONE THE INESCAPABLE FATE ORDAINED TO YOU, HUMAN, HOWEVER THEY MAY EARN YOU PURRS AND LOVERUBS
I’ve never been more emotional about any social media post in my entire life
UPDATE: guys Beth Broderick tweeted yesterday that this Salem is THE SAME SALEM!!! He’s 20 years old man!!!! 20!
That Salem is still kicking is all I care about.